Before I start, I should clarify that the sole reason why I’m writing this post is to piss off the entire JYJ fandom, and that as a fervent JYJ anti, I live for nothing else apart from the sheer diabolical pleasure I get from writing articles on the internet bashing a band for which I harbor an unspeakable hatred. And also for the page views.

Kidding.

I’ve kept pretty mum thus far about this whole thing with the JYJ fandom declaring me Public Enemy #1 — for more than a year, I think — and honestly, there’s really no reason why I should be wasting my energy trying to “explain myself” to people with poor reading comprehension skills who have long since made a habit of only seeing what they want to see.

But real talk, guys — the main reason why I felt the need to write this is because there’s something severely wrong when members of my own fandom are trying to paint me as an anti of a group that I genuinely, genuinely love more than words can describe. There’s a fundamental misunderstanding here, and I’m entirely uncomfortable with having to live with the fact that JYJ fans believe that I have some sort of vendetta against JYJ, and that I spend ridiculous amounts of energy writing 2000-word long articles about JYJ because I hate them.

I mean, come on now. Does that even make any sense? You all said it yourself: why would someone who hates JYJ that much continue to write about them? Instead of trying to address that question in earnest and consider even the slightest possibility that I MIGHT ACTUALLY BE A FAN OF JYJ who cares enough about what they do to spend considerable amounts of time thinking critically about them and writing about them, are y’all just going to conclude amongst yourselves that I’m some crazy person with nothing better to do than write hateful articles on JYJ?

I’m a very busy person, folks. I don’t have the time to write about stuff I don’t care about, and I certainly don’t have the energy to spew hate about a group that I’ve already made up my mind about.

The DBSK/JYJ fandom has been a rough ride for all the years I’ve been a DBSK fan. My DBSK fandom was at its peak right when they broke up, and I cried over these guys for months because of it. DBSK was that band that defined my teenage years, and they took me through hell and back. And as much as it hurt — and it hurt a lot — I stuck through it because I loved these guys that much. And now, three years later, the very same fandom that I poured my heart into is dragging me through the mud and accusing me of being something I’m not.

I don’t think I need to explain how much that hurts.

I’ll admit that I’ve written pretty shitty articles about JYJ in the past — and by “shitty,” I don’t mean articles that just criticize JYJ; I mean articles that were just shitty: poorly written, needlessly offensive, unfairly critical. But there was literally nothing that was directly inflammatory towards JYJ in this latest article; I made a point of making sure of it while I was writing it. The bulk of the piece wasn’t even focused on JYJ; I used Jaejoong’s solo album as a launching point because it was timely and relevant. I never even said that I disliked Jaejoong’s work. And yet you found reason to defame me — not because you disagreed with my opinion, but because you’ve already decided that even the slightest non-praise that I give JYJ is evidence of my hatred against them.

I don’t know what more I need to do to convince you that I’m not the furious anti that you think I am. To be honest, I shouldn’t have to do anything because no other sane fandom would ever attack another member of the same fandom for having a critical voice, but this has been going on for way too long and I’m not going to let you — you, who preaches to your whole fandom to ignore me because I don’t have anything “nice” to say; you, who attacked my morality for not slavishly agreeing with JYJ’s decision to sue (wtf?); you, who manages to make my life a living hell whenever I write anything about JYJ; you, who invalidates every ounce of love that I once poured into this group — I’m not going to let you define who I am.

I hope you know that your extremism is not going to do you, your fandom, or JYJ themselves any favors. If you’re going to continue alienating everyone who doesn’t think in the same way as you, your fandom is going to shrink and die. This is not a threat; this is a piece of hard truth. For the sake of my own mental health, I refuse to be associated with people who make a point of attacking me. If that means that JYJ loses a fan, then whose fault is it? I’m usually a strong advocate against the belief that a group’s crazy fans are a good enough reason to dislike the group itself, but when the fans are creating a toxic environment around anything that involves the group, how do you expect anyone to stay?

I wish I had the gall to outright declare that I’m going to stop writing about JYJ forever. But I’m not, because I’m not going to let people who don’t talk sense to dictate how I should express myself as a fan. (updated; see here) Know, though, that moving forward every word I write about JYJ will be calculated and hesitant because despite the fact that I am coming at JYJ fans with knives and daggers with this (very angsty) post, this fandom still scares me shitless. Know that while my words about JYJ may have caused you to be mildly offended on the behalf of someone you don’t even know, your poisonous comments at me have caused me significant pain and distress. Are you happy? Are you satisfied with how you’ve “protected” the boys from one of their own fans?

This is the last you’ll hear from me on this issue. I wish I could have approached you guys diplomatically and professionally about this (especially since this is on my main blog), but considering how you have treated me, you don’t deserve even that. Good day.

(And this goes without saying, but all y’all Nice JYJ Fans, this rant is not for you. Thank you for reaching out to me on those few occasions. You guys are the reason why I still write.)